Prospectus · Section 5
Risk Factors
Prospective investors in the JP Morgan Fund should consider the following. Particularly the first one.
Sánchez Risk Index
UNQUANTIFIABLE
No hedge. No stop-loss. Management has been unable to measure this exposure because he keeps coming out for it.
Disclosed risks
Principal risk: Robert SánchezPrincipal
Our goalkeeper is a single point of failure with no hedge, no stop-loss, and no obvious instructions. Every long ball is a stress test. Every back-pass is a margin call. Every cross is a Lehman moment. Management has been unable to quantify this exposure because he keeps coming out for it.
Shareholder relations riskMaterial
A former officer of the firm is understood to have fallen out with the investors. A disposal is imminent. Proceeds will be reinvested in the final third, where relationships with shareholders are, by contrast, excellent.
Volatility riskMaterial
A 2-0 lead is a liquidity event. A 2-0 deficit is also a liquidity event. We are indifferent.
Counterparty riskImmaterial
Opposition strikers may exploit gaps in the Compliance Department. This is priced in.
Concentration riskImmaterial
The Fund is, by construction, three individuals. The firm holds no meaningful hedge against any of them being unavailable, and has not sought one. We consider this a feature, not a bug.
Cardiac riskMaterial
Shareholders may experience heart palpitations between the 75th and 95th minutes. Consult a physician before investing.
Regulatory riskUnquantifiable
VAR. No further comment.
Key-person riskPrincipal
If Palmer catches a cold, the entire Fund catches a cold. He will not, because he is the cold.
This list is not exhaustive. Management considers the concentration of the Fund in three individuals to be a feature, not a bug.